We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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