Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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