You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!