You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
