if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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