so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you traded sex for a burrito?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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