We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
