You just made me feel so damn special
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"