I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
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The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
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He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single