I am puke
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I have feelings that need drinking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk