An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
