If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
