He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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