so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
