I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Randomize
