im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
