i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
