Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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