No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
