We're facebook friends in real life
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
