i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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