have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
