So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
