I'm jealous of your bromance
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
high people should be assigned attendants
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
