Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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