He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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