Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
