god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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