He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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