Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
