Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
