I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
