They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
