Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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