i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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