my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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