I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
