I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
