Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
