You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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