see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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