Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
did i walk over a car last night?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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