Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize