last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
