having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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