**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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