I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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