Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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