The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
