do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize