R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
