Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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