My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
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I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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