I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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