I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
