Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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