Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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