If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
