You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
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you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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