Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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