it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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