i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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