Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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