addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
