There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
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There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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