I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
